trying something new

My first entry on a new type of journal. I've been an avid livejournal girl for awhile, but I plan to welcome the change of format.

Little sleep and plenty of thinking.

I wait to find what I want. Just once it would be nice to have a clear answer. This is it Jamie. This is what you need to do, where you need to go, what you have to pursue.

I've been thinking about emotions recently, mostly my lack of understanding in that field. I can help people pull themselves together with logic. I can justify my own choices with logic; yet, logic misses something.

The truth is I don't understand romantic love. It just seems so selfish and pathetic. It changes people, it makes them believe themselves nobel when really they are just being sad and dependent. I don't know what scares me more; the idea of falling in love and losing myself, or the feeling that I may be incapable of falling in love.

Can a person in love still have a separate identity?

The worse part about intimate relationships is the way people view sex. Sex is natural, beautiful, and it is the most powerful thing you can share with a person... but it doesn't have to be emotional. Emotions belittle the act. They make people feel the need for pillow talk, more flat future plans have been made in the comfort of the bedroom then between acquaintances at graduation.

I wish I had a Neil Cassidy in my life. He would understand the desire to live from high to high... whether that high is spiritual, drug induced, sexual, intellectual, or any mix of the above.

Love has been painted as serious, romantic, consuming...
in my mind love should be laughter, thrills, extremes both high and low, screw romantic love give me passion anyday.